Sunday, December 29, 2013

Dip, Cigarettes, and Jesus.

Addiction is no stranger to me. Although I have not dealt with it personally, I have come as close as you can get without actually tasting it. I have seen numerous family members, friends who have family members, and in some cases even some friends fall into it and then watch their fight to beat it begin. But the more and more I have witnessed this fight, the more my perspective has been altered.

We are so quick to judge. So quick to get angry, trust me I am guilty more than you will ever know. But Jesus is teaching me now that as Christians we are always so quick to give the answers to escape it, but sometimes that doesn't cut it.  The simple phrase, "Christ is enough," seems to solve all of life's problems. 

This phrase has become the banner of the church and the christian life.  We think this phrase will fuel a growing conviction and ultimately provide the finding everything you/we need is in Jesus and will increase someones joy and destroy the sin addictions.  But I have learned, it isn't quite that simple. 

Here’s the problem, it is absolutely true, but ultimately the saying "Christ is enough," is just a summary.  

Summary: a brief statement or account of the main points of something.

It skims over the process of how you get from point A to point B.  Saying “Christ is enough” is often used when it comes to addiction. Struggle with materialism?  Christ is enough.  Can’t stop looking at porn?  He satisfies.  Have a problem with dipping?  God is all you need.  I absolutely believe that finding satisfaction in Christ is the answer for any of our addictions.  But simply telling someone that God is all they need without showing them how to find that satisfaction does about as much good as saying nothing.  

I’ve often seen the whole “God is enough” thing illustrated in sermons by setting up two tables.  On one table is a burger, fries, and drink from McDonalds.  The other table has a feast on it.  The McDonalds combo is that sin you keep turning back to.  The feast is what Christ offers.  It would be dumb to run to the McDonalds table for something that is way less than what is on the other table. But here is the problem whether you choose the McDonalds combo or Jesus you are still satisfying the same craving, which in this case is hunger.

So yes Jesus is more than enough but these things people turn to will satisfy them, just as the McDonalds meal will, just not as much as the feast would.

I hope you see where I am going with this...

We can't just say, "Christ is enough," and expect them to instantly choose Jesus over that cigarette or the beer. We have to show them. Wanna know how to do that: you let your life reflect it.

It doesn't make you less spiritual than anyone else because you smoke, or because you dip. By no means am I saying it is our job to get someone to stop doing what they are doing. What I am saying is it our job to encourage them and let the fact Jesus does satisfy speak not only from our mouths but from our lives.

It means absolutely nothing if we tell someone something and then don't let them see how it applies in our own life.

So today Jesus, let us love people no matter where they are at. Let us not try to tell them all the answers. Let us just point them to you. Let us be addicted to you.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Dream On.

My mom encouraged my to read the book, The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch. I willingly agreed, not planning on actually doing it. But today I read the book, the entire book.

The title of the book explains just what the whole book is about: a last lecture. A lot of professors give talks titled "The Last Lecture." Professors are asked to consider what matters most to them and before finishing their season of life that involves teaching they give their last lecture spitting out tad bits of wisdom.

But Randy's last lecture is literally is his last lecture. He is fighting pancreatic cancer, the same cancer my dad had, so you can imagine I was a blubbering mess while I read the book. But Randy does something unique, and heartfelt. He dedicates his last lecture to teaching life lessons to his kids that he won't ever get the chance to teach them. So one day when they look back they can still learn from their father. Like I said I cried the whole book. I highly highly encourage you to read the book. But one of the main ideas is Randy encouraging his kids to accomplish their dreams. Because when you strive to live a life where you accomplish your wildest dreams you are truly living.

But this book got me thinking. What are my dreams? Am I chasing them?

When the time comes for me to step out of earth and into eternity, and my loved ones silently wish for me to live, I want to to reply to their silent request and say,"I already did."

You see I wanna dream. I wanna chase my dream. I wanna really live.

You never know when the doctor will come into the waiting room and tell you that you have terminal cancer, Randy didn't. But he lived his life in a way that it didn't matter if the news came or not... He dreamed. He lived.

The question now is not can you dream, everyone can dream, but do you have the courage to act upon it? Do you have the courage to chase it? .

The Children of Israel dreamed of living in the Promised Land, but the only way to get there was through the wilderness. You will not be able to trust God for the fruition of your Dream, until you see His faithfulness in the process. But as the people walked through the wilderness, chasing their dream, they learned.

That's the beautiful part about dreaming. Even if you never accomplish what you are seeking what you learn along the way will benefit you just as much.

Numbers 13:2-3 
The Lord spoke to Moses: “Send men to scout out the land of Canaan I am giving to the Israelites. Send one man who is a leader among them from each of their ancestral tribes.” Moses sent them from the Wilderness of Paran at the Lord’s command. All the men were leaders in Israel. 

The men Moses sent out to scout the land most likely were not that excited about going, probably a little scared. But they went, they chased their dream dispite the discomfort. 

If your dream does not stretch you to the point of discomfort, it isn't big enough, fear is standing in the way

Little dreams lead to little service, but big dreams can lead to big service, so ask yourself, "How big is my dream?"

So today take a step with me. Start dreaming a dream and start chasing it. Let's truly live.



Thursday, December 5, 2013

Put Down the Phone.

"Put your phone up for 2 seconds." -Mom
"Mom, I am not always on it (lying) you just always see me when I am." -me

Last night I spent the night at a families house so the mom could sleep in, therefore I was in charge of taking the kids to school. First, these kids wake up dang early. Rolled over looked at the clock, 5:45, and all 3 of them were up and ready to start the day. I slowly got out of bed, turned the tv on for the kids and went and sat in the other room. First thing I did... started looking at my phone. It is 5:45 in the morning nobody was tweeting, posting pictures on instagram, snap-chatting, or even posting facebook status. But yet I still ended up on my phone for a solid 15 minutes... and then it hit me: serious conviction.

The house is so quiet, still, and there is absolutely nothing to look at on my phone but I am still choosing to be on it...

Why?

Why wasn't my first thought to make use of the quiet and stillness and breathe in the start of a new day and start leaning into what Jesus had in store for me over the next 24 hours.

You can deny it all you want, but today almost every single one of us spend more time on our phone then we do anything else, and honestly that is completely pathetic.

So, I put down my phone, then realized we had lots of time before school and decided to load the kids up and take them to breakfast. When they were finish eating we still had about 20 minutes before we needed to leave, so I told them they could go play on the playground. Instead of me scrolling through twitter, again, I watched the kids play, and the reaction they showed to me watching them is/was such a beautiful picture of what Jesus wants from us.

Their faces lit up with joy and smiles as they looked out and saw me watching, and then they busted out in their best dance moves from behind the glass. They just died laughing and kept waving at me making sure I was still paying attention.

That is it people.

Jesus just wants our attention. He wants us to put down the phone, and look up and watch everything that He is doing, but He doesn't want to have to keep waving to make sure we are paying attention.

Now I am not saying everyone needs to fast from social media and to only spend 10 minutes a day on your phone, not at all. What I am saying is don't miss out on the little things in life because you are to busy starring at a screen. Yes, through social media we have a sneak peak into the lives of those we follow, but if we become so concerned about what everyone else is doing, we miss our own life.

Jesus has placed you where you are for a purpose, and I am 100% positive your purpose isn't to sit and stare at your smart phone. Make you goal for Jesus to stop waving at you because you are already paying attention.

So today, I am choosing fix my eyes on Jesus and not on my iphone.






Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Love like a movie.

Being a 7th grade small group leader, there is one thing on most of my girls minds: boys. 

Twice this week I have sat down with older girls and the conversation always gets back to one thing: I just wanna be in love.

Anytime I have a conversation about this topic it usually leads to the same thing.... a love like the movies.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good chick flick, and I am famous for always wanting to see the the new Nicholas Sparks movie, but the more and more these conversations kept happening the more and more I kept asking myself, "why do we want what's in the movie?"

The Avett Brothers said it perfectly: So you want to be in love like the movies? But in the movies they're not in love at all. And with a twinkle in their eyes, they're just saying their lines. So we can't be in love like the movies. Now in the movies they make it look so perfect. And in the background they're always playing the right song. And in the ending there's always a resolution. But real life is more than just two hours long.

girls: 
wake up call. 
-a guy isn't gonna walk across the United States because he found your picture in Iraq and thinks you are his guardian angel. [the lucky one]

I'm gonna step on some peoples toes here with this one, but oh well. It kills me when I see tweets about how girls want this "love like a movie," but then are "talking" to a guy who won't even hold the door open for her. You want a guy to love you the way Jack loves Rose in the titanic, then talk to a guy that knows how to respect you enough to even open the door to a restaurant. 

Love is so much more than someone writing letters to you for 365 days [the notebook], kissing you in the rain [dear john], or running off the football field out into the bleachers to find you [a Cinderella story].

Yeah all those things are great and what every girl dreams of, but when I think about falling in love, and finding my husband, I can say with everything in me.... I don't want a love like in the movies.

I don't want someone to love me for the way I look, for the way I dress, for what size jeans I wear, or for how I act. I want someone to love me for the way I love Jesus. 

I don't wanna stay up late having him tell me how perfect I am so I feel good about myself. I wanna stay up late and have him constantly reminding me who Christ says I am. But I also wanna be strong enough in my faith that I know who Jesus says I am, and I allow him to love every part of me. When you get to that point then you open up the door for someone else to step in and love you. 

I don't wanna talk for hours on the phone about nothing, I wanna talk for hours on the phone about how absolutely blown away we both are at what Jesus in doing in our lives.

Because I know if someone is in love with you because of the way you love Jesus, your love for each other will surpass anything you could see in a movie, and I know when someone falls in love for your heart they absolutely adore every other part of you. 

So girls, next time you fantasize over the latest chick flick coming out stop and ask yourself what you really want your love story to be.

Then you come to a point where you know what you want in a man, and what Jesus has been doing in me is showing me everything I want my husband to be to me: an encourager, a listener, a safe place.... I have to be right back to him.

So tonight instead of praying: Jesus bring me my husband. How about praying Jesus turns you into the woman your husband wants/needs you to be for him. 

I would trade inside jokes over 365 letters any day. Why? cause it's unique. 

When you allow Jesus to write your love story, everything about it is unique, and way better than anything you see in the movies.

[Proverbs 31:10] 





An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.









That is what you want. Someone to say you are far more precious than jewels. 

So Jesus, don't give us a love like in the movies. Give us someone who is in love with the way we love you. 


Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Thursday is coming.

I will remain confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord. {psalm 27:13}


Today I looked back through some old journals to try to find things that I had written in the past as Novemeber 21 has come and gone, and honestly I couldn't find one thing. November 20, November 22, but never the 21. I guess I always try to escape it, try not to even think about it. If you don't know November 21 is the day my daddy passed away. But this year, I am writing. Because this year I have seen the goodness of the Lord.

I don't think I can explain this year in a way that would do it justice, but I know I can sum it up: Jesus is forever faithful.

Ashes to beauty has been the hope my hands have been gripped around the past couple months just as I have walked through some things, and today as I am leaning into Jesus with everything I got, I am realizing that there has always been beauty in the middle of every circumstance but it takes a journey to get us to a place where we are able to see the beauty. When you see the beauty you find the healing.

This year I have seen the beauty and I have found the healing.

Jesus so specifically puts the details of our lives together that even the hardest days will all be pieced together to form something so beautiful, and when we see them pieced together, we stand in awe of who He is. This year I feel like I have seen some of those hards days be pieced together, and it makes me go back to the simple phrase: This is why.

You read the blog, you came to church that day, you watched the podcast, or you see my millions of instagram pictures with the kids. But with November 21 coming closer, I am blown away all over again of how Jesus has brought a family into my life that has changed me forever. (if you haven't seen/heard the story you can check it out at, passioncitychurch.com/watch, the title is: available.)

But what you haven't seen is the days that followed generosity Sunday. The carpool lines, the football games, the many nights of mac and cheese, the laughs, the fits, the hugs, the carrying of booster seats, the singing of christmas songs in front of the fire, the late night talks after the kids go to bed... The relationship that has been formed, and the bond that has been made that I believe will never be broken. I have seen the rocky mountains and the oceans but nothing will ever be as beautiful as the way Jesus has orchestrated my life to cross paths with the Pray family. 

So let me be the first to proclaim over your life that nothing you walk through will ever be meaningless and I have learned this more this year than I have ever have.

I have seen the ashes turn to beauty.

I think about this past year and the people Jesus has surrounded me with and tears are the only thing that can express the gratitude I have for so many of you that didn't even know me this time last year but have stepped into my life and loved me like you have known me for years.

And then I think about the future and I get chills. I see the text messages going back and forth about boy advice. I see the trips to the mall. I see me picking up that same little girl, all grown up, and can hear the words so clearly coming out of her mouth of her story of when she realized: this is why.  

So this year I write, and this week I celebrate because Jesus is faithful, my father is cancer free, more alive then he has ever been, and because healing is real and it comes. Believe it. 

This week:

We remember a father.
We remember a husband.
We remember a son.
We remember a brother.
We remember a friend.

But this week I remember not one life but two.

One life that was directly involved in mine. A man that loved me as any father should love their daughter. A man that watched me take my first steps, heard my say my first words, and showed me the above all else Jesus is the most important thing. 

Another man that I never got to meet, but in a strange way feel like I knew for years. I see him in the smiling faces of his children. I feel the overflow of the way he loved people by the way his wife has loved me. 

There aren't many words that can measure up. But the lives of these two men could never be put into words. 

Today, I believe in the promise of heaven more than I ever have.

So we remember.

We remember and we never forgot.

11.21.02
11.21.12









Thursday, November 14, 2013

Constant.

{psalm 48:14}
For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.



constant: occurring continuously over time a period of time. 

His love is constant: continuing
His mercy is constant: continuing
His grace is constant: continuing

[He is constant]

If every part of Jesus is constant and never changing, the healing hands He provides on our life are never taken off of us. So even when we feel like a new wound has been ripped open His constant healing is being provided and taken place.  So we have hope, we have hope because Jesus is working even when we are blinded by other things.


Jesus, take us to a place where our confidence is in the fact every part of you is constant. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

Breathe.

So I hopped on a plane and flew to Colorado, and I don't think Jesus has ever made it so clear to me what "Breathe" really meant until now.

If you didn't know the air in colorado is way different then good ole McDonough so it makes it harder to breathe. After walking who even knows how far to eat lunch and to Walmart yesterday after we landed, pretty sure I was about to pass out because I was so out of breath, not just because I am out of shape, but because of just trying to adjust. Denver really is exactly one mile high. In fact, there is a step on the State Capitol Building that is exactly 5,280 feet above sea level - one mile high. It wasn't until we got back to the hotel and completely stopped everything I was doing that I was able to really breathe. 

That is our life.

We won't ever be able to truly breathe until we completely stop everything. We can try to adjust where we are at in life, but key word is try. We so often get out of breath with life. One thing after another getting the kids to school, trying to get the laundry done, finishing that paper, and just simply dealing with life day to day and we try to catch our breath but we aren't willing to completely stop long to do it. We sit down at night but we find ourselves scrolling through Instagram or responding to text messages and when the next day comes we wonder why we are still out of breath. Until we stop everything, disregard everything else, silence all voices and tune in to what Jesus has to say, we won't ever catch our breath. We won't truly breathe. 

Take a deep breath and hold it. Now exhale. What just happened? You took some air into your lungs. Your lungs removed the oxygen from the air for your body to use. You then exhaled what your body doesn’t need—carbon dioxide. What you took in sustains your life. What you breathed out is of no use to you. In fact if you kept it in your lungs too long it would actually be harmful. When we are in a place where we can truly breathe we inhale His love, forgiveness, and mercy and we exhale our confession of our sins, our sorrows, and our fears.   

Job 27:3 
"As long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils..."

As long as we breathe, the spirit of God will continue to empower us. And when we allow Jesus to empower us, we can always catch out breathe again.

Today, Jesus teach us to truly breathe. 










Monday, October 14, 2013

Victory.

You might lose the battle, but God always wins the war.


Battle: 
-An encounter between opposing forces.
-Armed fighting; combat: wounded in battle. 
-A match between two combatants: trial by battle. 

War:
-A state of open, armed, often prolonged conflict carried on between nations, states, or parties. 
-The period of such conflict. 

[A battle is just a part of the war]

If you are like me there are days when you lay your heard down on your pillow at night and ultimate defeat strikes you. Your youngest child pitching fits all day, your oldest falling into the ways of the world, the mirror telling you that you aren't good enough, your parents not loving you, the list goes on and on. These are all battles, encounters with Satan. Yeah, you might lose the battle today, or you might have lost the battle yesterday and felt like Satan won, and honestly that is okay, or I feel like it is at least. If we believe that it's not, that is telling ourselves that its not okay to not be okay, and if we were all okay we wouldn't even need Jesus, and I think I can get an amen to the fact we need Jesus. 

But the beautiful thing is; the battle is just part of the war. Battles make up the war. Even in legitimate wars a nation could lose battles, multiples ones, but still win the war. That's my hope today. So what if I go to sleep at the end of the day and feel defeat. So what if today pain wins over, and all I have is tears. I lost the battle, but Jesus ALWAYS wins the war, and because He is victorious we are victorious. So today you are victorious in Him and with Him. 

Deuteronomy 20:1-4 (message)
"When you go to war against your enemy and see horses and chariots and soldiers far outnumbering you, do not recoil in fear of them; God, your God, who brought you up out of Egypt is with you. When the battle is about to begin, let the priest come forward and speak to the troops. He’ll say, “Attention, Israel. In a few minutes you’re going to do battle with your enemies. Don’t waver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win.”

Fighting against your enemies.
Fighting to win.

I don't claim to know what you are fighting against today, and I sure don't claim to say that it is easy. But whatever your enemy is, I know that Jesus is fighting against it, and I know He is fighting to win. But more than that, I know He does win. 

"The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved."
-Samuel Smiles 

To win without struggle is to win without honor. To win without struggle means to win without anything achieved. 

Yesterday I watched my cousin get baptized, and I can honestly say she lost multiple battles. She would tell you that herself. She fights addiction everyday and in the past she lost over and over. But yesterday she stood in front of others and as she wiped the water off her face as she come up from being baptized; Jesus won the war. 200 days sober on the day she got baptized. Jesus won the war. Fired from her job because of addiction, but now has a better job than she did before. Jesus won the war. Lost and broken and searching for an escape from pain and now one of the most joyful people I know, and finds her escape in worship. Jesus won the war. 

Jesus is greater than anything you walk into, walk through, or face today or any other day. Because He is greater, we will always overcome. 

Today Jesus, we admit that we know we might feel defeat but we hold tight to the fact you will always win. We hold tight to the fact you are greater.


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Details.

I have a story. I knew after all this happened that I would blog about this. But Jesus made it clear to me after I received a text message from my sweet friend that it was her story to tell. So I am going to let her tell it.

The text message:
Adria. I'm in my car. And I'm sitting in a Starbucks parking lot. And I start thinking about everything. And Satan tries to come in and steal it and the most refreshing thought and truth comes over me--- not only did Jesus make me. But he prepared all these little things for him. This is not a mistake. I met you and was so amazed by your story. And from that day I asked Jesus for a story Adria. Cause I felt like I didn't have one. But I do. And the this new chapter of it, is blowing my mind. I met a friend with a passion for Jesus that blew my mind. And I wanted that. And I felt like I couldn't have it because I didn't know where my place was. That friend was you Adria.



First off let me begin by saying, Emily gives me way to much credit. The girl has a huge gift for making people feel valuable. She is the most encouraging person I know. After I read this I knew that Jesus had wired all of this together for her so specifically. Every single little detail. 

-If I hadn't decided to take time off from school then I wouldn't have the freedom to take a random trip.
-If we hadn't decided to take a trip, Emily wouldn't have brought me a check to the house I was babysitting at that night.
-If Emily hadn't brought me a check, she wouldn't be able to tell you the story you are about to read.

The list could literally go on and on. 

Don't you love how Jesus does that. Every single little detail. I will say it again, every single little detail. He pieces them together and then we stand in amazement. 

I write all the time. It could be blogging, it could be tweeting, or it could be journaling. But I write, because when I write I have a way to go back re-read what Jesus has done and how faithful He has been time after time. So no, I am not gonna tell you this story. Because it is Emily's story, and I wanted her to have a way to always remember when Satan comes in and tries to tell her otherwise that she most certainly has a story. Like she said in her text message to me, "I asked Jesus for a story."

He answered.



Emily Griffin:
   Growing up everyone asks the famous question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?” For me, that answer was never certain. I have always had a huge desire to be a mom and wife but there’s not a course for that.  Trust me, I researched it.  When I would tell advisors they would look at me and just said, “Awe, honey, that’s so sweet.”
   Before I knew it, I was a senior in high school. To me, everyone knew what they wanted to do, but me. Of course I wasn’t the only one but Satan loves to share that lie with us. The truth was, Jesus had already gone way before and He was directing each step.
   I decided to go to Anderson University in South Carolina. I was so excited because my older sister was there and my best friend was going with me as well.  When we first began school, I really enjoyed it. As time went on, I was really struggling. My best friend would come back from class and would share stories about her exciting day. I wanted a story so badly. I majored in Early Childhood Education. I felt like it would be perfect for me because of my love for kids. I soon realized, it just wasn’t for me. I was so unhappy. I tried hard to make it look like I was happy. I could only keep this act up for so long. After my freshman year, I transferred back home. I didn’t have a clue where or what I was going to do. I just asked the lord to lead me, and I knew that Anderson was not where he had me. So, I packed up and headed back home. You would think I would be happy because I was headed to something better, but actually I was a complete mess. 
   I had left my sister and best friend and “ my plan” for my life was ruined. I felt like a failure. Summer came at the perfect time. I was able to just be at home with my family and also have some time with the lord to think about what was next. 
      I have always enjoyed babysitting so during this time I was able to get back into that. I got a lot of jobs and I was really excited. It brought me so much joy to step into these families and serve them. 
I attend Passion City Church, and have the privilege of working with the 2nd and 6th grade girls! (and what a privilege that is!) During this time I was able to meet Adria. Her heart immediately challenged me. We both loved kids so much and were able to share babysitting jobs with each other. At first, our conversations were centered on babysitting but as time went on we really opened up with one another. I’m blessed to say that to this day we are very close and I consider her a best friend. 
   As summer came to an end, I had decided to go back to school to finish core classes.  I still wasn’t sure what it was Jesus wanted me to do. I’m a very organized person and I absolutely love to always have a plan.  In this situation not having a plan made me crazy. I had different possibilities of what I thought I could do but I never was absolutely positive. I didn’t want to waste any time though. I didn’t want to just go to class . I talked with my parents and and many leaders that I look up to. Everyone always pointed me the fact that Jesus was leading me. I knew he was always leading me but its one thing to know and another to believe. I had to really pray and ask the lord to show me how to believe. I remember different friends were coming to me with similar situations. Without any hesitation, I always told them that God was leading them. I went on to say that he was near to them. 
   Have you ever needed your own advice? In this case, I needed to listen to myself. If Jesus was leading my friends in their situations—wasn’t he leading me too?  Of course, He was. I love what it says in Joshua 1:9. It says, “ Have I not commanded you? Be Strong and courageous, do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
   I held this verse very close and chose to believe it for me. It was an amazing feeling to know that Jesus, my best friend, and my king, was near to me. I am able to walk hand in hand with him through all the adventures of my life. 
   I’m literally sitting here typing this and I couldn’t be more excited to share with you how faithful Jesus is......
 
   My friend Adria and myself decided to go on a trip to Colorado to visit our friend. We planned this trip pretty fast, when I say fast I mean she texted me about it Sunday and we bought the tickets Sunday. I couldn’t believe we were actually going to go. The next day I planned to meet Adria to give her a check for the trip. Before I met her I was at home with my mom. I began to get really stressed about my future. I started researching and thinking about what to do. My mom told me to think about Dental Assistant training school. This was something that I had gone back and forth with for a while. I didn’t say anything back to my mom. I just continued to research and watch all the videos I could on Dental Assistants. I just asked the lord in that moment to please lead me. If this is what He wanted, I was going to need Him to show me. I put my computer down and went to get ready.  Before meeting Adria I was going to meet with my mentor from church. When I met with my mentor, all I could think about was my future. She began to talk with me and I was able to share with her about being a dental assistant. She was very excited for me and was able to really share some things with me that really ministered to my heart. I told her it wasn’t so much that I passionate about teeth. I like teeth but that wasn’t the point. The point was I wanted to do something where I was serving someone. I wanted to be someone’s right hand man.  It just made sense to me. I continued to pray and I just felt in that moment so much peace. 
   Adria was babysitting when I went to meet her. As I entered the house something hit me immediately. It was the most powerful thing I have felt in a while. I looked at Adria and I said what is that? She smiled back at me and was like…yep. I said, that’s Jesus isn’t it? She looked at me with the biggest smile on her face and was like, "yes."  This was just in the first 2 seconds of entering the house.  I was trying to meet the kids that Adria was babysitting but it was so hard for me. I had to just be silent. The power of the Holy Spirit was so heavy. Adria decided to show me around the house. I knew one of the kids she was watching because she happens to be one of the 2nd grade girls that we both lead at church.    The more we walked around, the more heavy it got.  Time went by and we were just catching up with each other and the little girl came running down the steps.  She told us that her tooth was about to come out, and funny part is she goes, "Adria I know you hate teeth." But I went running over there to help her. The little girl mentioned that her mom was dentist and she always helped her with her teeth. I stood back and asked what she had said. Adria said, "yeah, she was a dentist assistant". I couldn’t believe it. I asked her to say that again as well, to make sure I was hearing correctly. I looked at Adria and I told her I had been praying about this for so long. Right in that moment, it all hit me. For the first time, it all made sense. All the little details were coming together. Jesus knew each of those little details. They were his little details. 
   I was completely undone. I couldn’t stop crying because it was all so powerful, it was so Jesus!  As I write this now I am officially signed up for Dental Assistant school! What???? Yes, its true! Im just a tad excited!  
  Now, I not only know God is leading me but I believe. I see that He is a promise maker and a promise keeper. And Im proud to say that all along I really did have a story and this was just a small and exciting chapter! 
I challenge you to let the Holy Spirit lead you.  Lean in, trust, and know He has you!

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders. Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” ( Oceans- Hillsong United)  


-Emily Griffin 


I love that it wasn't some huge moment in the middle of a concert, or a conference with 60,000 other people, or something a pastor said.. It was a little girl with a loose tooth that put all the pieces together for Emily.

Jesus, this is your story.


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Nothing.

Does the often repeated cry for God to do something sometimes feel like a scream. And what if we can't find any other means of delivery but then just that, a scream. Even then, God is not far from the voice of our roaring; for He does not regard our prayers, but His own Spirit's work in them excited by the desire of our hearts. Speak honestly. Realize that your cries out for help are our are statements of faith and belief in who God says He is, and that He is the only answer. 

Lately, the way I feel could be summed up into one word; nothing. 

There have been multiple times I have started to write and I have no words. Absolutely nothing.

September 9,2013
"Jesus, the words aren't coming. I feel like the pages of my life are blank right now. I feel like i'm doing nothing. Teach me to wait. But more than that, teach me to be expectant even when I feel like nothing is coming."

{Isaiah 58:12}
"Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called repairer of broken walls, restorer of streets with dwellings."

ancient ruins: a state of nothing

foundations: the start

repairer of broken walls: the process/ working

streets with dwellings: Jesus turned absolutely nothing into everything.

All great things start from nothing, and then slowly turn into something. Being in the state of "nothing" isn't bad, it means you can be available for Jesus to turn your nothing into anything. I still have full confidence in the decision I made to not go to school, despite where I am at right now, because I know Jesus has something coming for me. What it is I still couldn't tell you. But I believe it. 

I believe Jesus will turn nothing into something.

ashes to beauty.
nothing to something. 
Isaiah 61:13

David to a King.
a nobody to a somebody.
2 Samuel 5:1-3

Dry bones to life.
nothing to something.
Ezekiel 37.

Psalm 139:15
"....how I was sculpted from nothing into something." 

Jesus became the ultimate "nothing" on the cross, to give us all a chance to become something. 

All because He became nothing.
I became a daughter.
I became loved.
I became cherished.
I received purpose.
I received mercy.
I received grace.
I have life.

All because He was willing to become nothing. 

So Jesus, turn my nothing into something like you have so faithfully done time after time. Teach to me accept where you have called me to be right now, and to be right where I am at, even if that requires me waiting patiently for what is next. Use my nothing, and turn it something that will glorify you in everything. 

“Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.” -Jarod Kintz

Monday, August 12, 2013

College?

The famous question, "Where are you going to college."

My famous answer, "I don't know."

Going into your senior year, prepare yourself to be asked a million times, "what's next?" Some people know. They know exactly where they wanna go to school. They know what their calling in life is. But if you are like me, I didn't/don't know what's next. Some people give you the "are you serious" look, others have respect to the fact you are vulnerable enough to admit it. However, you find respect from few.

Through my senior year, Jesus literally blew my heart up, over and over. Things happened I would have never dreamed, which is such a picture of the how Jesus ALWAYS does the immeasurably more, even when you don't expect it, let alone even think about it. Then the Summer came. Being busy is an understatement, but Jesus opened doors for me that have led to opportunities some people only dream about. Yep, there where times I had to be on my face before the Lord and beg Him to give me the courage to take the next step. But, these opportunities have/are shaping and molding me into what Jesus wants me to be. But senior year ended, summer ended. So what's next?

Notice how I said what HE wanted me to be. Hate to step on anybody's toes, but it doesn't matter what you want, it matters what Jesus wants. We so often recite the Lord's prayer out of Matthew, and I think we say it but don't surrender to what we are praying; "let your will be done." Those words literally mean, "Okay Jesus whatever you want."

Thats my prayer right now. Jesus, whatever you want.

So. All of my friends are packing up and going off to college. Moving into their dorm, and starting classes, and I am sitting at home. Yep, i'm not going to school first semester.

I know, you are probably thinking, "I would be so stressed if I was her." There have been times where I literally think about it so much that its exhausting. But Jesus has placed this verse on my heart the past couple weeks, Ezekiel 37:3, "... Sovereign Lord, you alone know." I would wake up in the middle of the night not able to sleep and would find myself saying this phrase of that verse over and over.

[You alone know]

One day after I had thought about this verse for days and days I decided to tear it apart. Jesus what are you trying to tell me.

You: Jesus.

Alone: exclusive from anyone or anything;incomparable.

Know: to have understanding of importance; to have experienced, or be familiar with.

In other words, "you alone know" means:
Jesus, you are incomparable, apart from anyone else, and you have understanding of the most important things because you have experienced the life we live.

So there is the answer to my question, and to so many others.  I don't know what's next, but Jesus knows, and I have full confidence that He will lead my life exactly where it needs to go.



Jesus, I will follow you, wherever you lead me. Let you will be done in my life. Whatever YOU want. Because I know, You alone know.


Friday, June 28, 2013

I am.

Jesus it's your story. 

I am a simple life with an amazing God. I am a vessel and a voice of Jesus, King of Kings, Lord of Lords.  And the only reason worth living for, is to know Him as He unveils Himself to me and through me in a real trench-life. I have given up labels and claims. I am what He makes me and is making me. I am His mystery-unfolding and He holds all the knowledge of what that is and is not. Of what that will be and how He will make Himself known in this life, He alone sees. The vision of my hopes lie buried in His Ability. I do know what my calling and purpose is: love my God above all, with all. Then love those given to me. I am about Him. I am here for Him. He is my life, my all, my only.

Monday, May 20, 2013

This is why.

Job 9:10, "He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed."

That verse right there sums up everything I am about to tell you.

Being a part of Passion City church there has been some crazy things happen that Jesus has orchestrated and has blessed me in more way than possible, but I think this, actually I know, that this tops them all.

[Door-holder] someone who makes it possible for others to come in. Someone who serves, because they have been served.

When I first started the process of applying to be a door-holder I asked the Lord to use me as much as He could wherever He placed me. He answered the prayer.

So often when we pray we think we are obligated to see the result, or to see some type of proof that God is listening and working. But shouldn't we be focused more on having a posture of thanks to the fact we serve a God that even makes it possible for us to communicate with Him. Then when those moments happen that we are privileged enough to see a prayer that was in our hearts surface to life we should be overwhelmed. Blown away. That is me right now.

Back to being a door-holder. I ended up serving in passion kids. My first week I was in Kindergarden girls and absolutely loved it, and thought this is exactly where I am suppose to be. But God had other plans. The next week I was in the first grade girls tent. If you know me, you know that I absolutely love kids. It is no secret. But out of all the little girls in my tent there was one that stood out, one that I was drawn to more than the others. However, I didn't know why. I knew she was an absolute sweet heart, she listened, she responded, and she was always the last one to leave, meaning I got to spend more time with her than the other girls. But, I knew in my heart there was something special about her.

I didn't think anything else about it, until the next sunday I served in passion kids. The little girl walks in, I am instantly super excited. After we hear the lesson, come back to the tent and finish talking over what all we learned today, I start talking to the little girl. She tells me all about her weekend and all that she did. Out of curiosity I ask what her parents do, what kind of jobs they have. She answers, "well my mom doesn't work, and my dad used to have a job but he died last year."

At the time Louie was in the series "Passion and Purpose," so I had been asking the Lord to show me my purpose in the things I do. In that moment the innocent 7 year old girl muttered the words," he died," I knew my purpose.  I knew why I was moved from Kindergarden girls to first grade. I knew why I was drawn to her. I knew why she was special. She was me. I understood her, and she was placed in my tent so I could tell her that. That I understood.

Crazy huh? How the Lord made all of this happened. Well, it gets crazier.

After all this, I wanted so desperately to talk to her mom, and tell her all that had happened. But the opportunity just never presented itself. But, last night after the 5 o'clock gathering her mom stopped me and we began to talk. She thanked me for being so good to her daughter, and I began to tell her the story of my dad. I tell her how I had just turned 8 in October and then my dad died in November.  She asks if I can remember what day, I tell her. The same exact day her husband died. The same exact day this little girl lost her father. The same day I lost my father. With both of our eyes filled with tears we are both at a loss for words. This is not a coincidence. This is God. This is an answered prayer.

When we lose a loved one we embark on a journey of the question, "Why?" Why us? Why my dad? Why did you do this? We might never get the answer we want, but God shows us little things, puts us in certain situations to where we say, "this is why."

10 years later.
One little girl. The same age as I was. The same day. Standing face to face with her mom who is reflecting Jesus without speaking any words. I know; This is why.

I can show this little girl there is hope. That she will be okay. That I was once her.
That she is not fatherless.

I can tell her that someday she will say, "this is why."

"We are Yours, forever we are Yours. Faithful Father."


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Jamaica.


One week.
One team.
One goal.
One love.
One God.

I am going to try to put into words my trip to Jamaica, but no amount of words will ever be enough. 

Jamaica to most, including myself, is thought of as a beautiful beach and sunshine. Which don't get me wrong it is beautiful, but Jamaica is so much more than that. The beauty isn't in the beaches, or the scenery. The beauty is in the people. 

We step off the plane monday afternoon, first thought... HUMID. We are greeted by the missionaries we will be staying with and the pastor of the church we will be serving along side. We load the buses, and the week begins.

I had a lot of doubt going into this week. But the instant a sweet little Jamaican boy named Deshaun (guessing on the spelling) wrapped his arms around me and told me he was so happy I had come, all doubt was removed and replaced with joy. 

Tuesday morning came early. We eat breakfast and prepare for the day. One group will go to the home of a member of the church and help work on their house. My group will go to the home of the Pastor's that has been destroyed by termites and do whatever we are told. Now when I say house, some of our living rooms are bigger than the homes these people live in. But they are more grateful for the little they have than any of us are for everything we have. 

Let me just say us American are lazy. No offense to anyone, but we are. The work ethic of these people would blow your mind. We mixed concrete and were told anytime we get it on us to rinse it off because it will burn, while we are doing so the Jamaicans are mixing the concrete, standing in it barefoot. Not complaining at all. Isn't that how our walks as Christians should be. Every time something happens, we stop, we produce some type of anger or resentment towards the Lord and question His perfect plan for our lives. Why? Because we want the pain to go away. But what if we were like the Jamaicans. What if we just kept going. We didn't stop to wash off the concrete. 

Don't you love how God works. It wasn't a sermon or a church service that revealed to me the first thing the Lord wanted me to learn in Jamaica. 
It was by the people.

After every day we worked we would come home and be greeted by kids. Tired, exhausted, and sunburnt, but the instant you would see one of those kids smile and all of a sudden you could go a little bit longer. I think Jesus works like that as a reminder, just when you think you can't go anymore He reminds you, you can. He lets you feel weak and exhausted, just so you can realize how much we need to depend on Him. 
It was by the people.

As a kid, Easter egg hunts were the second best thing to Christmas morning. Some of the kids we were with had never experienced an easter egg hunt. That moment when they rushed out of the church and begin to sprint to pick up the eggs will be a moment I won't ever forget. They displayed excitement. They would run up to us and show us how many eggs they had found and then run to someone else and tell them. They painted a picture for me. Shouldn't that be us? Shouldn't we run to people, tell them what we have found. We have found Jesus. But we don't stop at the first person, we run to the next.
It was by the people. 

Jesus revealed himself to me in more ways then I mentioned, but I think that this is the biggest point He wanted me to realize; that He is always going to be enough. Something I have been told over and over, and even professed but never fully grasped, until now. Why now? Because of the people. 

Beginning to see the common thread here. It was always the people. It was the kids wrapping their arms around me. It was the men working as hard as they did and never stopping. It was the people having nothing but being happy. Why? Because Jesus was enough for them.

Monday morning came. Packed up and ready to go. Hugs begin and so do the tears. The people have changed my life more than I could ever change theirs. I came to serve them, but they served me more. I came to bless them, and they blessed me more. But most of all, I came to love them like Jesus did, and they loved me more. 
It was the people. 

Sweet Deshaun, looks up at me with eyes filled with tears and says He is glad I came. The first words he told me but not the last, because while we were there precious Deshaun accepted Jesus as his Savior.    

As I hold back tears even now, one thought comes to mind. Immeasurably more. 

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Beautiful.

Girls.

We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is the core to who we are, and a beauty of our own.

But what we so often forget is that we do have a beauty that is pursued  Every day the Lord wants us to have an intimiate relationship with Him. We have a beauty that was fought for, years ago when Jesus give it all up and died on the cross. He didn't just fight for you, He died for you. We have a beauty that is the core to we are are. Proverbs 4:23, "guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life."  Why? Because the Lord knows our hearts are the core to who we are. Our hearts define our faith, our hope, our courage, and how we love. Your heart is by far the most important, and the most beautiful thing about you. We have beauty of our own, Psalms 139:13, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." 

Ruth might have been a beautiful woman, but it is her faith and continued desire to follow the Lord that attracts Boaz.

Esther is the most beautiful woman in her land, but its her bravery and good heart that moves the King to spare the people.

What do these women do that we don't? 

They set their hearts not on the things in front of them, they weren't satisfied when someone called them beautiful. They set their hearts above, they were not only be satisfied but completed knowing that the one above called them beautiful. 

Don't you see it. You are beautiful. You are LOVED.

Take Eve. Usually when we think of Eve, we think; the one who ate the apple. What we don't realize is that Eve was the final work of God. She completed creation. Not a random addition, not an afterthought, but the final touch. Next time you feel like you are not important, look out across the earth and tell yourself, "this would not be complete without me." 


You make me beautiful 
You make me stand in awe 
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed 
I love to hear You say 
Who I am is quite enough 
You make me worthy of love and beautiful. - Bethany Dillion


Who are you?
You are God-designed. 
You are Lavishly Loved. 
You are a Princess. 
Your Father is the King.
You are a daughter of the King of the universe.

You are beautiful.





Monday, January 28, 2013

Getting There.

Is there a God?
Is He involved in my world?

Our belief in God, usually at one point leads to one of the biggest lies Satan can make us believe, "If there is a God then where is He in all the bad?" Satan's plan is to extinguish our faith and our love for God just as He did to Eve.
Don't we all think sometimes God gives us problem for us to solve, and then we slowly realize that we never find the answers. We never solve the problem. The Lord doesn't give us problems for us to solve, the Lord gives us problems to drive us to Him so He can show us who He is, and we can realize He is the solver.
Isaiah 9:6
"For to us a child is born,to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."
When I think of a counselor I think of someone who doesn't show you how to deal with your feelings but instead helps you realize what your feelings really are. The Holy Spirit has been my counselor. He is taking me back into my pain and loss and I find myself seeing differently. God is taking me back, back to the 8 year old little girl; fatherless. Even though I love the Lord and strive to have a daily relationship with Him, He is slowly starting to show me this enormous barrier not only to Him but also to myself.
I am beginning to see that my problem is that I have tricked myself into thinking that I have fully accepted my fathers death, and that I don't blame God. When deep down a part of me still hates him. Now as I write this today, this is something the Lord is just starting to show me. I had no idea I was still refusing the loss of my father. But the eight year old little girl in me is still mad, still hurt, and still broken.
Revelation 1:18
“I hold the keys to hell and to death.”
God is showing me that He did take my father, I blame Him and He is guilty. But He is also showing me that if I honestly believe He is good, then I will believe that my father's death was good. Our response to life when things happen, either by man's doing or by satan's, is to believe that God is not really who He says He is, and to believe He isn't good. We will never have the ability to love a God that we believe by any measure will ever not be good, and has never been anything but good to us. We can't trust a God we don't believe is bigger than the pain.
If you know me on a pretty personal level you know that I am extremely hesitant to become close to any man, or a "father figure" and up until today I thought I was so scared something would happen to them just as it did my Dad. But I am realizing it's not the men, its not the fear. It is me not trusting God. It is me going back to the eight year old little girl, abandoned, and thinking God was the one who did it.
Now usually when I write, I have gone through a phase in life and overcome it, this isn't like that. This is process that God is just starting to lead me through. We all have our definition of what we think love is, but my prayer is that I realize the love God has for me is far greater than what I think it is. Because real love is exposing, and that's what the Lord is starting to do in my life. Expose. Not even to others, but first to my self.
Whatever comes into your life, if you will praise quickly, immediately, it is saying, “I believe that God is good and God is sovereign.”
The hardest thing we will ever do is not admit that God is real, or that God loves us for who we are. The hardest thing we will ever do is admit He is Sovereign.
So how do I get there?
I have to Surrender to HIS story that He is writing in my life, and then I have to repent of my belief's that I had, about who He is and what He has done.
"If God is good, my dad dying is good."
I am not there yet, and you might not be either. But that means one thing, God is coming for you; just like He is me and I WILL get there and so can you.