Fear.

Inspired by the "believe" series at passion city church.


I know I haven't posted in a while. I haven't known what to write. I haven't thought of something that I thought was good enough to catch peoples eyes like the last couple things I have posted. However, I have come to realize that the past 2 weeks have been filled with so much fear. Fear of turning 18, fear of facing my senior homecoming. Fear of facing these 2 huge milestones in my life without my dad here.

Fear is completely dominating. Not only in my life these past 2 weeks, but in our world as a whole. However, what so many don't realize that our first response to things shouldn't be "I am scared" but simply "I believe in Jesus." Move away from an attitude of fear, and move towards and attitude of faith.

Fear: lack of confidence in yourself or others to control a situation, not having control.
Faith: Confidence in God to control all situations.

Sometimes people become discouraged because people look down on them for their faith, but when you think about it everyone has faith just in different things. I know things don't always go the way we think they should. But we have to remember that God made a universe out of nothing, He can take any circumstance and make it into something. Circumstances don't change who we are, they don't define us, they simply bring out who we really are. We walk into church, we raise our hands in praise, we sing every word to the songs but when one thing goes wrong we put our hands down, we stop singing. My prayer for myself lately has been that I keep my hand up, I keep singing, no matter the circumstance. I run to faith instead of running towards fear. But how do you that? Simple, remember the faithfulness of God and all He has already done in your life. Root yourself in faith. Numbers 13 tells the story of God telling Moses to send men to Canaan to scope out the land. The men go and come back with the report that this land is everything that God said it would be but the people living there are powerful and it wouldn't be worth it. But Joshua, son of Nun and Caleb, when he saw the army he simply remembered what he had seen in the tent, Exodus 33:7-11. He remembered God, and was not afraid.

In Exodus 3, God commands Moses to go to Egypt, and Moses first reaction was fear. Exodus 3:11,"Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt." Fear is normal, and we all face it. Some on a day to day basis, but God gives us the answer to fear just as He gave it to Moses in Exodus 3:12, "I will be with you." Things aren't always easy, fear does come, but the answer is simple; God will be with you.

I know sometimes we feel like we can't see God, and we feel like He is hidden, but that doesn't mean we can say there is no God, we have to remember how many times we have seen Him before.

With fear comes worry. Worry in scripture is the same thing in our time what we would call anxiety. Worry literally means to divide. So when someone says, "I am falling apart," thats where the meaning of worry comes from. Anxiety is real, and its a big deal. But we serve a God who is bigger. Jesus is bigger than the darkness, light will break through. Mark 9 tells the story of a father who has a son who is possessed, in verse 27 however victory comes and Jesus lifts the boy to his feet. This is a perfect picture of what Jesus will always do with us. No matter where we are, victory will come, light will break the darkness, and God will put us back on our feet. He is not just God, but He is your God, He is my God.

I have learned that a big part of being free from worry and fear is humility. When you are humbled you realize you are not in charge and you are simply living in the grace and power of God. You don't worry about what is going to happen, because you know who holds the plans to your future. When we try to run things because we think nothing is going right, thats when we have to humble ourself and remember that His plans are greater than ours, and nobody but Him can run our life in a better way.

The Lord is near. What is there to be anxious about?

Don't mistake if God isn't handling things the way you think they should, remember the Lord is near to you.

So yes, I am still afraid to face this week with how much is going on. But I am constantly reminding myself that I believe in Jesus, and He is near to me.

"I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind. The God of angel armies is always by my side."

Walking across that field friday I am going to have a brother on both arms, and I am going to remember that I know who goes before me, and I know who is standing behind me; the God of angel armies. He will be near to me, and I need not fear.

Today remember who goes before you and who stands behind. Humble yourself by knowing who is control of your life. Hold on to the promise that He is with you.

Isaiah 41:10
DONT FEAR.

Ruth.

The story of Ruth is compacted with heart ache, love, and most of all commitment. 

Ruth 1:16 "But Ruth replied, Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."

As a kid, growing up I had heard the story of Ruth a million times. About how this Moab woman left everything and committed to taking care of her mother. But over the summer I was given a book on the study of Ruth and my eyes and heart have been revealed to how much there is to the story of Ruth. Yes, Ruth is protagonist, but like all stories she isn't the only character. The book starts off with Elimelek and his wife Naomi. They had two sons Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, also commonly know as God's chosen people. But when a famine struck, Elimelek packed up his family and went to the country of Moab where the harvest was plentiful. At first, I thought nothing about this, they needed food so they went where they knew it was. But after reading Genesis 19:30-38 and discovering the origin of the Moab nation, I soon came to realized this was far from not being a big deal. In this passage of scripture Lot's daughters are talking back and forth about how there is not man for them to marry, so out of desperation they decide to get their father drunk and sleep with him. The oldest daughter later conceived a son by her father and named him Moab. 

So, a family packs up and leaves God's people and goes to where the harvest is. Do you ever find yourself doing that. Packing up and walking away from what you know is right just to go where something is easy. What is right is not always what is easy. I am guilty of this without a doubt. I think sometimes I get caught up in the fact that over on one side everything seems to be all together, and I run from where God has called me. I run from where I have been placed in life. No, my life hasn't been easy, and I have faced trials of every kind and I have tried to run, but every time I always come to realize where I am is where God wants me to be. What will I choose as my life goes on and I am encountered with more and more situation. Stay in the land of God's choosing or flee to the bountiful one? 

Dueteronomy 23:3 "No Ammonite or Moabite or any of their descendants may enter the assembly of the Lord, not even in the tenth generation." Scripture clearly tells us no Moab was to be included in the assembly of the Lord's people, so Elimelek went against what he knew and took his family to Moab, and even more than that had arranged marriages for his sons with Moabite women. Elimelek soon dies after arriving in Moab, and his two sons follow after. So now you have Naomi widowed, Orpah widowed, and Ruth widowed. With nothing left, Naomi and her two daughter-in-laws pack up to go back to Bethlehem. Ruth 1:6-7 tells us that Naomi returns to Bethlehem because there was a harvest again. This is a prime example of turning back to God out of desperation. When things go right its so much easier to seek the Lord. But we aren't called to seek the Lord only when there is a harvest, we are called to seek the Lord all the day long. Thankfully God purses us even we are in a far of place. Naomi returned for food but the Lord drew her back in. No matter where I am or where you are, chasing God or not chasing God, there is always a seat at the table for anyone willing to return. 

Ruth goes with her mother. A heart I pray the Lord can give me for Him. To go where He goes, to love who He loves, and for His people to be my people. But their is another sister in this story. Orpah, at first she denied Naomi's request to leave, but later agrees. Don't be an Orpah who made the right decision at first but couldn't hang after further persuasions. Be a Ruth. Sometimes we think obedience is a one time thing, but it's an everyday choice. We can't last if our motivation is based on anything but our relationship with God. If I don't base my motivation on God, I might be able to resist once or twice like Orpah, but only a love for God will sustain a long-term commitment to obedience. If we aren't committed to God it's easy to to justify our actions or lack of disobedience. 

One thing I think so many people miss from this story is the great loss Naomi faces. She loses both her sons, and her husband. Naomi isn't hesitant to admit that she is angry with God and blames Him. She states three times is Ruth 1:20-21 that she accuses God of her heart ache. So often are we scared to be honest with the fact, we are mad at God. But why? Do we not think that the one who conquered the grave can handle someone being mad. Do we forget that even if we don't admit we are mad to anyone, He knows. I will admit it, I have been mad at God and sometimes find myself still mad at Him for taking my father, but He still loves me with a love that is unfathomable. Don't be afraid to be mad at God, and don't be afraid to tell Him. Naomi, who was part of God's chosen family, felt forsaken by God, and when we are honest we have all felt like Naomi before, and it's okay. Tell Him, because when you do He is the one who is going to come and rescue from the anger and from the pain. No one else, Him. He did it with me, and He can do it with you. Don't ever doubt that. 

Ruth 1:14, "at this they wept aloud again," although there was weeping, the direction in which they wept is what truly matters. Ruth and Naomi wept, but they wept forward. They kept going. In their tears they kept walking. Sometimes our only choice is to move forward because staying where we are is so difficult, but going back is even harder. Even if you are in a season of weeping you can move forward. God sees your tears. Cry them, wipe them, feel them, but don't let them stop you. It's possible to cry and walk at the same time. Because when we can't walk and all we can do is cry, thats when we let our savior carry us. 

Do we fear coming unleashed like Naomi? Both Job and Naomi were real with God and addressed with God their feelings. We are so afraid to deal with things because we don't know the outcome. God doesn't want us to know all the right answers, or the outcome. But what He does want is our heart, even if it is a little explosive like Naomi's. 

I am afraid.

Afraid of how I feel.

Afraid of emotions.

Afraid of pain.

Afraid of crying.

Afraid of honesty.

Afraid of admitting.

I am afraid to let myself not be okay.

But through the story of Naomi I have realized; It's okay to not be okay.