I will remain confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord. {psalm 27:13}
Today I looked back through some old journals to try to find things that I had written in the past as Novemeber 21 has come and gone, and honestly I couldn't find one thing. November 20, November 22, but never the 21. I guess I always try to escape it, try not to even think about it. If you don't know November 21 is the day my daddy passed away. But this year, I am writing. Because this year I have seen the goodness of the Lord.
I don't think I can explain this year in a way that would do it justice, but I know I can sum it up: Jesus is forever faithful.
Ashes to beauty has been the hope my hands have been gripped around the past couple months just as I have walked through some things, and today as I am leaning into Jesus with everything I got, I am realizing that there has always been beauty in the middle of every circumstance but it takes a journey to get us to a place where we are able to see the beauty. When you see the beauty you find the healing.
This year I have seen the beauty and I have found the healing.
Jesus so specifically puts the details of our lives together that even the hardest days will all be pieced together to form something so beautiful, and when we see them pieced together, we stand in awe of who He is. This year I feel like I have seen some of those hards days be pieced together, and it makes me go back to the simple phrase: This is why.
You read the blog, you came to church that day, you watched the podcast, or you see my millions of instagram pictures with the kids. But with November 21 coming closer, I am blown away all over again of how Jesus has brought a family into my life that has changed me forever. (if you haven't seen/heard the story you can check it out at, passioncitychurch.com/watch, the title is: available.)
But what you haven't seen is the days that followed generosity Sunday. The carpool lines, the football games, the many nights of mac and cheese, the laughs, the fits, the hugs, the carrying of booster seats, the singing of christmas songs in front of the fire, the late night talks after the kids go to bed... The relationship that has been formed, and the bond that has been made that I believe will never be broken. I have seen the rocky mountains and the oceans but nothing will ever be as beautiful as the way Jesus has orchestrated my life to cross paths with the Pray family.
So let me be the first to proclaim over your life that nothing you walk through will ever be meaningless and I have learned this more this year than I have ever have.
I have seen the ashes turn to beauty.
I think about this past year and the people Jesus has surrounded me with and tears are the only thing that can express the gratitude I have for so many of you that didn't even know me this time last year but have stepped into my life and loved me like you have known me for years.
And then I think about the future and I get chills. I see the text messages going back and forth about boy advice. I see the trips to the mall. I see me picking up that same little girl, all grown up, and can hear the words so clearly coming out of her mouth of her story of when she realized: this is why.
So this year I write, and this week I celebrate because Jesus is faithful, my father is cancer free, more alive then he has ever been, and because healing is real and it comes. Believe it.
This week:
We remember a father.
We remember a husband.
We remember a son.
We remember a brother.
We remember a friend.
But this week I remember not one life but two.
One life that was directly involved in mine. A man that loved me as any father should love their daughter. A man that watched me take my first steps, heard my say my first words, and showed me the above all else Jesus is the most important thing.
Another man that I never got to meet, but in a strange way feel like I knew for years. I see him in the smiling faces of his children. I feel the overflow of the way he loved people by the way his wife has loved me.
There aren't many words that can measure up. But the lives of these two men could never be put into words.
Today, I believe in the promise of heaven more than I ever have.
So we remember.
We remember and we never forgot.
11.21.02
11.21.12
Hey Adria,
ReplyDeleteI just saw this come up on my news feed on good ole Facebook and decided to read further. sorry if this freaks you out, I totally understand considering the fact we don't know each other at all. BUT, with all that being said, this post has brought me to tears. I don't want to say I feel your pain because I don't. I haven't lost my father, but I did lose my beloved mother to breast cancer years ago. So, on a certain level I can feel the pain. The words you just wrote are some of the things I've been trying to comprehend for the last 13 years or so. I loved what you said when you mentioned that nothing in life is meaningless. Jesus Christ is real! Healing and peace are real! And God is the ultimate healer, comforter, and King. So I mourn for you and thank you for all the words you have said. It gives hopes to those who don't have any, are struggling to find their way, or just need a shoulder to cry on. So thanks again for your wise words, they are definitely appreciated. Sorry, for the long post from someone you don't even know, but thanks again for the hope given.
--Jill Danner
Jill,
DeleteThank you for your sweet comment. I love it when people step outside of their comfort zone and do stuff like this. It means more to me than you will ever know. Don't ever lose hope and don't ever doubt what Jesus can do. Praying that healing will come, believing that it will come for you, because I know sometimes you need other people to step in on your behalf and believe for you when you can't, so I am stepping in and believing it, because I know Jesus can do it. There is always hope.
-adria
Adria,
ReplyDeleteI don't know you either. But I do know Courtney and Andrew. We kind of grew up together, spending hours upon hours at the church together for one reason or another. My husband Chris was in a "band" with Andrew. That didn't last very long, but they were a hilarious bunch of guys, and had a blast. Andrew and Courtney were in mine and Chris's wedding. And then ministry took us in different directions and we didn't get to see as much of them as we wanted. But still, we love them like our own.
I couldn't be there last year, to put my arms around Courtney and the kids. I couldn't love on them like I wanted to. And through this past year, I have thought of them and prayed for them many times. As a "doer," that doesn't seem like enough. But I prayed that God would surround Courtney and the kids with people who loved them and could "do" for them like I wanted to, but couldn't. As I watched the video last year of how you met, and your continuing relationship with my sweet friends, I stood in my kitchen and cried. I know God put you there for them, and for you, but also for me. You are the hands and feet for me - and lots of people like me - who love that precious family, but can't be there in person. Every time you hug those precious kids, or fix a bowl of mac & cheese, you're representing many, many of us who wish we could be there to do those things for the family we love like our own. Thank you for being available. And thank you for loving them.
Thank you for your sweet words, things like these seriously are messages I will never forget. Courtney and her kids are loved well down here in atl, don't ever doubt that. Tomorrow I will hug them all extra tight for you. Thanks for sharing. Jesus is alive.
ReplyDelete