Ruth.

The story of Ruth is compacted with heart ache, love, and most of all commitment. 

Ruth 1:16 "But Ruth replied, Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God."

As a kid, growing up I had heard the story of Ruth a million times. About how this Moab woman left everything and committed to taking care of her mother. But over the summer I was given a book on the study of Ruth and my eyes and heart have been revealed to how much there is to the story of Ruth. Yes, Ruth is protagonist, but like all stories she isn't the only character. The book starts off with Elimelek and his wife Naomi. They had two sons Mahlon and Kilion. They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, also commonly know as God's chosen people. But when a famine struck, Elimelek packed up his family and went to the country of Moab where the harvest was plentiful. At first, I thought nothing about this, they needed food so they went where they knew it was. But after reading Genesis 19:30-38 and discovering the origin of the Moab nation, I soon came to realized this was far from not being a big deal. In this passage of scripture Lot's daughters are talking back and forth about how there is not man for them to marry, so out of desperation they decide to get their father drunk and sleep with him. The oldest daughter later conceived a son by her father and named him Moab. 

So, a family packs up and leaves God's people and goes to where the harvest is. Do you ever find yourself doing that. Packing up and walking away from what you know is right just to go where something is easy. What is right is not always what is easy. I am guilty of this without a doubt. I think sometimes I get caught up in the fact that over on one side everything seems to be all together, and I run from where God has called me. I run from where I have been placed in life. No, my life hasn't been easy, and I have faced trials of every kind and I have tried to run, but every time I always come to realize where I am is where God wants me to be. What will I choose as my life goes on and I am encountered with more and more situation. Stay in the land of God's choosing or flee to the bountiful one? 

Dueteronomy 23:3 "No Ammonite or Moabite or any of their descendants may enter the assembly of the Lord, not even in the tenth generation." Scripture clearly tells us no Moab was to be included in the assembly of the Lord's people, so Elimelek went against what he knew and took his family to Moab, and even more than that had arranged marriages for his sons with Moabite women. Elimelek soon dies after arriving in Moab, and his two sons follow after. So now you have Naomi widowed, Orpah widowed, and Ruth widowed. With nothing left, Naomi and her two daughter-in-laws pack up to go back to Bethlehem. Ruth 1:6-7 tells us that Naomi returns to Bethlehem because there was a harvest again. This is a prime example of turning back to God out of desperation. When things go right its so much easier to seek the Lord. But we aren't called to seek the Lord only when there is a harvest, we are called to seek the Lord all the day long. Thankfully God purses us even we are in a far of place. Naomi returned for food but the Lord drew her back in. No matter where I am or where you are, chasing God or not chasing God, there is always a seat at the table for anyone willing to return. 

Ruth goes with her mother. A heart I pray the Lord can give me for Him. To go where He goes, to love who He loves, and for His people to be my people. But their is another sister in this story. Orpah, at first she denied Naomi's request to leave, but later agrees. Don't be an Orpah who made the right decision at first but couldn't hang after further persuasions. Be a Ruth. Sometimes we think obedience is a one time thing, but it's an everyday choice. We can't last if our motivation is based on anything but our relationship with God. If I don't base my motivation on God, I might be able to resist once or twice like Orpah, but only a love for God will sustain a long-term commitment to obedience. If we aren't committed to God it's easy to to justify our actions or lack of disobedience. 

One thing I think so many people miss from this story is the great loss Naomi faces. She loses both her sons, and her husband. Naomi isn't hesitant to admit that she is angry with God and blames Him. She states three times is Ruth 1:20-21 that she accuses God of her heart ache. So often are we scared to be honest with the fact, we are mad at God. But why? Do we not think that the one who conquered the grave can handle someone being mad. Do we forget that even if we don't admit we are mad to anyone, He knows. I will admit it, I have been mad at God and sometimes find myself still mad at Him for taking my father, but He still loves me with a love that is unfathomable. Don't be afraid to be mad at God, and don't be afraid to tell Him. Naomi, who was part of God's chosen family, felt forsaken by God, and when we are honest we have all felt like Naomi before, and it's okay. Tell Him, because when you do He is the one who is going to come and rescue from the anger and from the pain. No one else, Him. He did it with me, and He can do it with you. Don't ever doubt that. 

Ruth 1:14, "at this they wept aloud again," although there was weeping, the direction in which they wept is what truly matters. Ruth and Naomi wept, but they wept forward. They kept going. In their tears they kept walking. Sometimes our only choice is to move forward because staying where we are is so difficult, but going back is even harder. Even if you are in a season of weeping you can move forward. God sees your tears. Cry them, wipe them, feel them, but don't let them stop you. It's possible to cry and walk at the same time. Because when we can't walk and all we can do is cry, thats when we let our savior carry us. 

Do we fear coming unleashed like Naomi? Both Job and Naomi were real with God and addressed with God their feelings. We are so afraid to deal with things because we don't know the outcome. God doesn't want us to know all the right answers, or the outcome. But what He does want is our heart, even if it is a little explosive like Naomi's. 

I am afraid.

Afraid of how I feel.

Afraid of emotions.

Afraid of pain.

Afraid of crying.

Afraid of honesty.

Afraid of admitting.

I am afraid to let myself not be okay.

But through the story of Naomi I have realized; It's okay to not be okay.