God of Comfort

This is a first for me. Grabbing my computer when it is nearly midnight, but I can’t sleep, so I thought maybe I should just write. Write because my heart is exploding with so many emotions. Write because the Spirit has been stirring in me all week and I have to try to take my thoughts and piece them together.

This is one of the hardest posts I have ever written because I know exactly what I want to say, but I do not know how to say it. I am just trusting that the Holy Spirit will show up like God’s word promises in Romans 8, intervene, and paint words onto this page.

This past week, as most of you know, there was a tragic accident where four UGA students lost their lives, and one is still in critical condition. I did not personally know these girls, but all week long I have been a mess. My heart has been so heavy for their families and friends. I did not know them, but hearing about their lives and how they lived has inspired and challenged me all week long.

Earlier this week a ministry out in Texas found me on Instragram and reached out about me writing a piece for their yearly advent book they put out every year. I happily agreed, and they sent me an email with the details and assigned me a word that they wanted my post to focus on: comforter.

What is a comforter? What does it mean to comfort someone? How does Jesus possess the quality of being a comforter? All questions that skipped through my mind throughout this week.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” 1 Corinthians 1:3-5

Paul lays it out for us. It is not will God comfort us? It is not will God show up in our troubles? It is PRAISE be to God who is the God of all comfort. It is PRAISE be to God who comforts us in all of our troubles. You do not praise someone for something they might do. You praise someone for what they have already done.

Another translation says “the father of mercies.” It seems better, however, to take the words more literally, as stating that God is the originator of all mercies, the source from which they flow. 

I cried a lot of tears this week, tonight especially.  But I think those tears washed away a perspective and gave me a new one, a new awakening. Driving home after church I could not help but think about thirteen almost fourteen years ago when my family stood in the midst of death and looking at where we are now and seeing not just the faithfulness of God but the comfort. I wish I could say that in the middle of the hard times I was aware of all that the Lord was doing but I wasn’t. I am now learning that there is beauty in being honest. There is beauty in being real with a world that needs you to be honest with them. There is beauty in saying, “as obvious as it might have been I missed it.”

I did, I missed it.  I missed the fact that in the darkest days, God was still the God of all comfort. I missed the fact that in the sea of grief, God was still the originator of all mercies. We pray for Him to be those things to us. We pray for God to be a comforter, we pray for Him to bring mercies, but He already is. I knew this is who He was but my circumstance blinded me to the truth, just as it so often does to us.

Paul says “praise be to Him.” He was the God of all comfort all those years ago when Paul wrote this letter to the church of God in Corinth. He was the God of all comfort thirteen years ago when my dad died. He was the God of all comfort in some of my darkest days. Today, He is still the God of all comfort.

We pray for Him to be something, and Paul says we should just praise Him because He already is. He is already everything we need Him to be.

By watching the community of UGA this week rally together, I am seeing how they are taking Paul’s words, “God who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God,” and applying them. In old English, the word comfort can be used as a noun or a verb, but in both cases there is an implied meaning of “strengthen.” That is exactly what those students are doing. I read about the prayer nights and the worship songs people are singing all around campus. They are strengthening their campus by proclaiming Jesus. They are strengthening each other by speaking out the hope we have in Him. They are comforting.

But more than that, Agnes Kim, Kayla Canedo, Brittany Feldman, Christina Semeria, and Halle Scott are all comforting us because every single one of them is strengthening us. Strengthening us because their lives proclaimed Jesus, pointed to Him, and are still pointing us to Him.

It is a chain of events. God comforts us. We comfort others. But this only happens by realizing, understanding, and seeing Jesus is a God who comforts, not just sometimes but all the time. 

I miss it sometimes. I miss being able to see how the Lord was the God of comfort then just as He is now. But I will never miss it again. Instead I’ll praise Him. Because yesterday, today, and tomorrow He will never change. I have tasted and seen the God of comfort and now I can go be comfort to someone else.

No circumstances get to blind us from the truth anymore. Tears don’t just have to cloud our vision, but they can instead be the very thing that make us see clearly. It is the truths we stamp on our hearts day in and day out that become the foundation we stand on when things are falling apart.

Remind yourself as often as you need: He is a God of comfort.

Remind yourself so that you don’t ever miss it.

To Agnes Kim, Kayla Canedo, Brittany Feldman, Christina Semeria, and Halle Scott:

Thank you. Thank you for giving me eyes to see something I have needed to see for a long time. Thank you for living in such a way you were/are able to teach me something although we never met.  

Heaven will be a more crowded place because of these girls, but heaven can be even more crowded because of you. Ask Jesus for the eyes to see Him for who He is, and for eyes to be able to see Him as who He is even in the darkest days. Then go and proclaim it.

Friends, take heart. You do not have to ask for Him to be a comforter, He already is. Praise Him.

Jesus isn't Prince.

I am the type of person that when I get a certain thought it consumes me. It starts dancing in my mind and it sets itself on repeat all throughout the day, even to the point where I can’t sleep. Whether that is a good think or a bad thing I am not sure, but I guess that is just how the Lord wired me. I analyze things and process things so deeply.

If you have not heard, Prince died yesterday. I will be honest with you, I know maybe three Prince songs, but that doesn’t negate the fact the world shifted a little yesterday. The radio stations have been talking nonstop about his greatness, and playing his music. The headlines blew up, and twitter exploded with so many people paying their respects and expressing how sad they were to hear the news. This morning I was getting my haircut, scrolling through the iTunes charts and was blown away. Prince has dominated the charts. I guess people went crazy and started buying all of his music again. I am talking the #1 through the #25 spot were all Prince. Stay with me, I promise I am getting somewhere.

Then it hit me. Why do we do this?

When was the last time the radio played a Prince song? When was the last time his songs topped the itunes chart? He was an incredible musician no doubt, but he was old news to most. People want the latest and greatest, so it takes something “bad” for people to revisit what they once knew to be great.

We do this with Jesus. More often than we think. It is as if we find Him, we enjoy Him for the time being, and when something “better” comes along or He becomes “old news” He manifests into an afterthought. We treat Him like an artist. We like his music, but a couple weeks from now we won’t be listening to it, and we will not revisit Him until something bad happens.

Somewhere along the drive, we tossed Jesus out of the window and kept on driving, and it isn’t until something falls apart, or something happens that leaves us devastated and in question that we pull the car over and try to find Him.

It isn’t until something bad happens that we revisit what we once knew. It isn’t until then He gets to top the charts in our lives again. We will gladly, and easily give Him back that #1 spot, but on a chart that is  “who is to blame.” 

People who have so far removed Jesus from their vocabulary will in an instant shout out, “why did God do this?” But more than that, people who are Jesus followers do this too. They claim to love the Lord but they have a back up plan stored somewhere, just in case He doesn’t pan out. They live in a game of tug of war, being pulled back and forth between plan A and plan B, but when bad things happen they let go of the rope and fall right back into Jesus.

Let me clarify, there is grace for when we stray. There is always a “welcome home” mat waiting at the door for us, and a seat at the table. But somewhere along the way we have to stop treating Jesus like an artist that used to be popular.

If this is the mindset we are living in then we do not really love Him. Because if this is the mindset we are living in, we are basing our love for Him off of what He does and not who He is. People loved Prince, but they did not really know Prince. They loved him for his music. As soon as he wasn’t making new music, people were not as concerned with him. It was all about what he was doing/giving them.

I have not been able to shake this thought all day. The thought that: I don’t get to base my love for Jesus off what He does or doesn’t do. I don’t get to turn my back when He does something I don’t understand, and I don’t get to praise Him just when I think things are good.

I am reading a book right now and the common thread being weaved throughout the whole story is: stop performing to earn someone’s love. Just be.

Ultimately, we want someone to love us not for what we do, but for who we are. So why don’t we do this with the Lord? Let us not base our love for Him off what He does for us, or off how we think He is performing. We have to be madly in love with who He is. If we root ourselves in that place, when things happen, it will not let our love for Him swerve. Yes, hard times are going to come. Yes, we are going to sometimes question His plans, but from our lips will still come praise.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " [Romans 8:28]

All things work together for the good of those who love him. To love Him, to really love Him, is to choose Him, every second of every day. It is to let Him hold a constant spot on the chart at #1. It is to let Him dominate the headlines of your life day in and day out.

I don’t want to treat Jesus like people are treating Prince. I don’t want to treat Jesus like a “used to be popular musician.” I don’t want to just play His music when things are bad, and I don’t want to just play His music because I finally revisited it and realized how great it was again. I want His music to be the soundtrack that I dance to day in and day out.

He is good.

He is safe.

He is sure.

He is constant.

He is love.

He is grace.

He is truth.

He is peace.

He could never do anything for us again, and we would still have a million reasons to be in love with who He is. Cause in the end, Jesus isn’t a prince. He is a King, and a King doesn’t get to be treated the same way a prince does. 

Roadblocks

I have hit some roadblocks these last couple months. Some are roadblocks that I placed myself and some satan did, but I think sometimes satan gets a little to much credit. We like to blame him for a lot of things that really are not his doing, but our own.

Roadblock #1

Fear

I had a friend tell me the other day, “Adria you are like the most spiritual person I know. You always know what to say and you like know the bible.” Side note: classic girl, using the word “like” a million times in a sentence.

I have created this expectation on myself to be this never ending well of wisdom that always has the right answer, and I have created this expectation of myself to be the “perfect” Christian, but from that the fear of struggling has taken root in my heart and silence has been the water that has allowed it to flourish.

What was/is so convicting to me is that in the past I would freely write about the pain and struggles running through my family, because I knew it is what people related the most to. The ability to relate to someone’s struggles is what builds your ministry. But when it comes to my person struggles, no way, that is off limits.

What will people think of me?

Will they question if I really love Jesus?

Will they still think I am wise?
Will they think I am a failure?

Fear.

But I did not want to be like the leaders that were full of belief but never said anything because, “when push came to shove they cared more about human approval than God’s glory.”  (John 12:43)

The thing about fear it has never gotten anyone anywhere. I have been praying that God would give me the words and then I would step out in faith and write them down, but God wanted me to step out in faith first, then He would give me the words. Sometimes faith just looks like willingness. Today I finally became willing, and what do you know the words started unfolding.

Roadblock #2

Shame

Another thing about fear is that it manifests and births into so many other things in us. I think some of us are naive to think we deal with shame, I was, but I have learned, silence speaks shame. My unwillingness to come to this blank page and write these things down said shame louder than anything else.

Roadblock #3

Loneliness

Being a stay at home college student is HARD. My instagram does a good job of creating a facade that loneliness is the farthest thing from what I am, but that is just me operating out of that fear and shame and doing whatever I can to mask that struggle.

Let me clarify I have friends, plenty, and they are all amazing, but they are also all scattered all over the place in different colleges so a lot of times the quietness turns into a loud anthem of lies of loneliness. But I also have not been willing to try to build new community with people around me, until this week. Praise the Lord for community groups at church and the amazing group of girls I met.

I am not alone. I never have been, but that does not mean I have not struggled with the thought that I am.

Roadblock #4

Striving

This is the biggest one right now.

I was texting back and forth with a mentor of mine this week about how I do not know how to operate when I do not have a to-do list or a million things planned. She reminded me that I was asking God for a “doing” attitude and not a “being” attitude.

She said, “you can still be (rest, rely on, abide) while you’re busy doing Kingdom things, so it’s not all or nothing. But it all starts from coming from a place of just being a daughter of God.”

Romans 8:19

“For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.”

To be a child of God is the sweetest place to live from, all of creation has acknowledged that by waiting to see who made the list. Good news, we all made the list if we chose we want to be on the list.

I felt like I was failing because I was not scheduled out and following that schedule, but that is not the case at all. I have also seen just in this week alone that more refining has happened than it has in a long time, and that is because I had the space and the quietness to hear and see.

Because I am just now learning how to operate from that place of being and not doing, I strive.

I have struggled the past couple months with my weight, not because I do not think I am beautiful or because I am insecure, but simply because struggling with my weight gives me something to strive for. What is my goal this week? How many miles can I run today? Striving. Striving. Striving. The more we strive the more focused we become on ourselves.

Trust me when I say that this post is one of the hardest ones I have ever had to write, it is not an easy task to put your flaws out there for the world to see, but I think of Lazarus. Lazarus was dead, I don’t think there is a greater struggle you can reach than that. We know the story; Jesus brought him back to life, etc.  But what we/ I miss is that people came from near and far to see what Jesus had done. They wanted to see how Jesus took Lazarus struggle and breathed new life into him. From that people believed, so many people believed to the point the Chief priest wanted Lazarus dead. He was a threat to Satan.

John 12:9-11

"Meanwhile a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and believing in him."

I want to be like Lazarus. I want to write and tell about my struggles so that people can see how Jesus breathed new life into me. I want people to believe in Jesus because they have seen how by Him and Him alone I have been able to push the gas pedal and drive through the roadblocks. I want to be a threat to Satan.

I was out running today and had this epiphany.

Hebrews 12:1

"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."

When running a race, most of the time you are always trying to do something. Whether it is run the whole time, set a PR, or even to win. You are striving. But with Jesus, the race He wants us to run, we start off as already being the winners. There is nothing we have to strive for. Run from a place of knowing you are already crowned with victory, you do not have to do anything to make it onto to the podium. You do not have to strive; you just have to know that you are already a winner.

I will not tell you that overnight I have driven through the roadblocks, but I am getting there. I am driving a little faster, and becoming not so willing to pump the breaks.

Friends, no matter how good anyone’s life looks, they too have something they are struggling with. Be encouraged by that. Nobody is perfect, and you do not have to be either. By admitting you are a mess it gives the Potter the chance to take the sloppy piece of clay and spin it into the masterpiece He is longing for it to be.

Be a Lazarus. Let your struggles point people to Jesus. Give yourself the freedom to be a mess.

Still learning, but still driving.

xoxo,

A messy piece of clay that is resting in the hands of the Potter

An Open Thank You Letter to Sadie Robertson: For Every Teenage Girl

Whether we want to admit it or not, when we were teenagers, in high school, we always had that person in the "spotlight" that we looked up to. We stalked them on google, or now on instagram.  But I think as the years go by teenagers are becoming more and more obsessed with this idea. Girls are not just trying to be "like" someone, they are trying to be them.

With the ever changing society, the standards girls are trying to meet are becoming more and more unrealistic. They scroll through instagram and measure themselves by how many followers they have or by how closely they are resembling Kylie Jenner. (Disclaimer: I have nothing against Kylie Jenner). Girls have adopted this idea that to be seen is everything. They look to the people that are seen greatly, celebrities, and they slowly begin to take off the layers and try to remake themselves to fit what the world deems acceptable.

Over Christmas break I had a sleepover with the group of girls I did a bible study with last year. They had just finished their first semester of college and I was so excited to see how they were all doing. I asked them the question, "what has been the greatest struggle since starting college?

The answers varied but the common thread pulled throughout was drinking. But what I found so interesting is that the ones that were struggling with it admitted that they found no enjoyment in it. So I asked them why.

With eyes full of tears, a 19 year old looked at me and said, "because it's what everyone else does."

That's it.

Everyone else does it.

We want to be like everyone, because that gives us an excuse to not find ourselves.

We want to be seen but we don't want to be known.

We want to blend in and not stand out.

When Adam and Eve realized they were naked in the garden it was them realizing they were vulnerable, so they hid. This is exactly what we do. In our brokenness, in our sin, in our fear, when it comes to showing our true selves, we grab the fig leaves and hide.

"Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves." Genesis 3:7

Girls, you don't have to be like anybody else. You don't have to look just like the girl on the cover of the magazine. You don't have to spend a summer in Africa doing mission work. You don't have to be in a relationship. Just be you, it's exactly what the world needs.

Put down the fig leaves, and let yourself be really seen. Every insecurity. Every doubt. Every mistake. Every Fear. Jesus, wants to see it.

We have it all backwards. It is not about just being seen. It's about being known. Maybe you aren't a spiritual person, in that case, Jesus aside, the world can never know you if you don't allow them to see YOU.

The real you.
Not the you who is trying to be just like everyone else.

Sadie Robertson says it best, "live original."

Original: created directly and personally by a particular artist; not a copy or imitation:

When I was in high school I wish I had someone like Sadie Robertson to look up to. Not afraid to stand out, she operates with simplicity and modesty staying true to who she is, and what she believes. With a million eyes watching, she dares to be different.

I know, sometimes we hold back because we fear what people will think. What will your friends say? How will they respond? Be encouraged by Sadie who does it knowing that the whole world is watching.

You will never influence the world by trying to be like it.

Sadie, thank you. Thank you for standing up. Thank you for being a beacon of light for young girls to look to. Thank you for making the message of your life first and foremost Jesus, but also to live original.

Today, remember that you don't have to be like anyone else. Put the layers back on. Be you.

Be someone that in the years to come is someone that a teenage girl can look up to. You could be the next Sadie Robertson But you have to be willing to just be you. You have to have the courage to say no to this idea of imitation.

I don't care what the world says, you have the freedom to be exactly who you are.