Love like a movie.

Being a 7th grade small group leader, there is one thing on most of my girls minds: boys. 

Twice this week I have sat down with older girls and the conversation always gets back to one thing: I just wanna be in love.

Anytime I have a conversation about this topic it usually leads to the same thing.... a love like the movies.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good chick flick, and I am famous for always wanting to see the the new Nicholas Sparks movie, but the more and more these conversations kept happening the more and more I kept asking myself, "why do we want what's in the movie?"

The Avett Brothers said it perfectly: So you want to be in love like the movies? But in the movies they're not in love at all. And with a twinkle in their eyes, they're just saying their lines. So we can't be in love like the movies. Now in the movies they make it look so perfect. And in the background they're always playing the right song. And in the ending there's always a resolution. But real life is more than just two hours long.

girls: 

wake up call. 

-a guy isn't gonna walk across the United States because he found your picture in Iraq and thinks you are his guardian angel. [the lucky one]

I'm gonna step on some peoples toes here with this one, but oh well. It kills me when I see tweets about how girls want this "love like a movie," but then are "talking" to a guy who won't even hold the door open for her. You want a guy to love you the way Jack loves Rose in the titanic, then talk to a guy that knows how to respect you enough to even open the door to a restaurant. 

Love is so much more than someone writing letters to you for 365 days [the notebook], kissing you in the rain [dear john], or running off the football field out into the bleachers to find you [a Cinderella story].

Yeah all those things are great and what every girl dreams of, but when I think about falling in love, and finding my husband, I can say with everything in me.... I don't want a love like in the movies.

I don't want someone to love me for the way I look, for the way I dress, for what size jeans I wear, or for how I act. I want someone to love me for the way I love Jesus. 

I don't wanna stay up late having him tell me how perfect I am so I feel good about myself. I wanna stay up late and have him constantly reminding me who Christ says I am. But I also wanna be strong enough in my faith that I know who Jesus says I am, and I allow him to love every part of me. When you get to that point then you open up the door for someone else to step in and love you. 

I don't wanna talk for hours on the phone about nothing, I wanna talk for hours on the phone about how absolutely blown away we both are at what Jesus in doing in our lives.

Because I know if someone is in love with you because of the way you love Jesus, your love for each other will surpass anything you could see in a movie, and I know when someone falls in love for your heart they absolutely adore every other part of you. 

So girls, next time you fantasize over the latest chick flick coming out stop and ask yourself what you really want your love story to be.

Then you come to a point where you know what you want in a man, and what Jesus has been doing in me is showing me everything I want my husband to be to me: an encourager, a listener, a safe place.... I have to be right back to him.

So tonight instead of praying: Jesus bring me my husband. How about praying Jesus turns you into the woman your husband wants/needs you to be for him. 

I would trade inside jokes over 365 letters any day. Why? cause it's unique. 

When you allow Jesus to write your love story, everything about it is unique, and way better than anything you see in the movies.

[Proverbs 31:10] 

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

That is what you want. Someone to say you are far more precious than jewels. 

So Jesus, don't give us a love like in the movies. Give us someone who is in love with the way we love you. 

Thursday is coming.

I will remain confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord. {psalm 27:13}

Today I looked back through some old journals to try to find things that I had written in the past as Novemeber 21 has come and gone, and honestly I couldn't find one thing. November 20, November 22, but never the 21. I guess I always try to escape it, try not to even think about it. If you don't know November 21 is the day my daddy passed away. But this year, I am writing. Because this year I have seen the goodness of the Lord.

I don't think I can explain this year in a way that would do it justice, but I know I can sum it up: Jesus is forever faithful.

Ashes to beauty has been the hope my hands have been gripped around the past couple months just as I have walked through some things, and today as I am leaning into Jesus with everything I got, I am realizing that there has always been beauty in the middle of every circumstance but it takes a journey to get us to a place where we are able to see the beauty. When you see the beauty you find the healing.

This year I have seen the beauty and I have found the healing.

Jesus so specifically puts the details of our lives together that even the hardest days will all be pieced together to form something so beautiful, and when we see them pieced together, we stand in awe of who He is. This year I feel like I have seen some of those hards days be pieced together, and it makes me go back to the simple phrase: This is why.

You read the blog, you came to church that day, you watched the podcast, or you see my millions of instagram pictures with the kids. But with November 21 coming closer, I am blown away all over again of how Jesus has brought a family into my life that has changed me forever. (if you haven't seen/heard the story you can check it out at, passioncitychurch.com/watch, the title is: available.)

But what you haven't seen is the days that followed generosity Sunday. The carpool lines, the football games, the many nights of mac and cheese, the laughs, the fits, the hugs, the carrying of booster seats, the singing of christmas songs in front of the fire, the late night talks after the kids go to bed... The relationship that has been formed, and the bond that has been made that I believe will never be broken. I have seen the rocky mountains and the oceans but nothing will ever be as beautiful as the way Jesus has orchestrated my life to cross paths with the Pray family. 

So let me be the first to proclaim over your life that nothing you walk through will ever be meaningless and I have learned this more this year than I have ever have.

I have seen the ashes turn to beauty.

I think about this past year and the people Jesus has surrounded me with and tears are the only thing that can express the gratitude I have for so many of you that didn't even know me this time last year but have stepped into my life and loved me like you have known me for years.

And then I think about the future and I get chills. I see the text messages going back and forth about boy advice. I see the trips to the mall. I see me picking up that same little girl, all grown up, and can hear the words so clearly coming out of her mouth of her story of when she realized: this is why.  

So this year I write, and this week I celebrate because Jesus is faithful, my father is cancer free, more alive then he has ever been, and because healing is real and it comes. Believe it. 

This week:

We remember a father.

We remember a husband.

We remember a son.

We remember a brother.

We remember a friend.

But this week I remember not one life but two.

One life that was directly involved in mine. A man that loved me as any father should love their daughter. A man that watched me take my first steps, heard my say my first words, and showed me the above all else Jesus is the most important thing. 

Another man that I never got to meet, but in a strange way feel like I knew for years. I see him in the smiling faces of his children. I feel the overflow of the way he loved people by the way his wife has loved me. 

There aren't many words that can measure up. But the lives of these two men could never be put into words. 

Today, I believe in the promise of heaven more than I ever have.

So we remember.

We remember and we never forgot.

11.21.02

11.21.12

Constant.

{psalm 48:14}
For this God is our God for ever and ever; he will be our guide even to the end.

constant: occurring continuously over time a period of time. 

His love is constant: continuing

His mercy is constant: continuing

His grace is constant: continuing

[He is constant]

If every part of Jesus is constant and never changing, the healing hands He provides on our life are never taken off of us. So even when we feel like a new wound has been ripped open His constant healing is being provided and taken place.  So we have hope, we have hope because Jesus is working even when we are blinded by other things.

Jesus, take us to a place where our confidence is in the fact every part of you is constant. 

Breathe.

So I hopped on a plane and flew to Colorado, and I don't think Jesus has ever made it so clear to me what "Breathe" really meant until now.

If you didn't know the air in colorado is way different then good ole McDonough so it makes it harder to breathe. After walking who even knows how far to eat lunch and to Walmart yesterday after we landed, pretty sure I was about to pass out because I was so out of breath, not just because I am out of shape, but because of just trying to adjust. Denver really is exactly one mile high. In fact, there is a step on the State Capitol Building that is exactly 5,280 feet above sea level - one mile high. It wasn't until we got back to the hotel and completely stopped everything I was doing that I was able to really breathe. 

That is our life.

We won't ever be able to truly breathe until we completely stop everything. We can try to adjust where we are at in life, but key word is try. We so often get out of breath with life. One thing after another getting the kids to school, trying to get the laundry done, finishing that paper, and just simply dealing with life day to day and we try to catch our breath but we aren't willing to completely stop long to do it. We sit down at night but we find ourselves scrolling through Instagram or responding to text messages and when the next day comes we wonder why we are still out of breath. Until we stop everything, disregard everything else, silence all voices and tune in to what Jesus has to say, we won't ever catch our breath. We won't truly breathe. 

Take a deep breath and hold it. Now exhale. What just happened? You took some air into your lungs. Your lungs removed the oxygen from the air for your body to use. You then exhaled what your body doesn’t need—carbon dioxide. What you took in sustains your life. What you breathed out is of no use to you. In fact if you kept it in your lungs too long it would actually be harmful. When we are in a place where we can truly breathe we inhale His love, forgiveness, and mercy and we exhale our confession of our sins, our sorrows, and our fears.   

Job 27:3 

"As long as my breath is in me, and the spirit of God is in my nostrils..."

As long as we breathe, the spirit of God will continue to empower us. And when we allow Jesus to empower us, we can always catch out breathe again.

Today, Jesus teach us to truly breathe. 

Victory.

You might lose the battle, but God always wins the war.

Battle: 

-An encounter between opposing forces.

-Armed fighting; combat: wounded in battle. 

-A match between two combatants: trial by battle. 

War:

-A state of open, armed, often prolonged conflict carried on between nations, states, or parties. 

-The period of such conflict. 

[A battle is just a part of the war]

If you are like me there are days when you lay your heard down on your pillow at night and ultimate defeat strikes you. Your youngest child pitching fits all day, your oldest falling into the ways of the world, the mirror telling you that you aren't good enough, your parents not loving you, the list goes on and on. These are all battles, encounters with Satan. Yeah, you might lose the battle today, or you might have lost the battle yesterday and felt like Satan won, and honestly that is okay, or I feel like it is at least. If we believe that it's not, that is telling ourselves that its not okay to not be okay, and if we were all okay we wouldn't even need Jesus, and I think I can get an amen to the fact we need Jesus. 

But the beautiful thing is; the battle is just part of the war. Battles make up the war. Even in legitimate wars a nation could lose battles, multiples ones, but still win the war. That's my hope today. So what if I go to sleep at the end of the day and feel defeat. So what if today pain wins over, and all I have is tears. I lost the battle, but Jesus ALWAYS wins the war, and because He is victorious we are victorious. So today you are victorious in Him and with Him. 

Deuteronomy 20:1-4 (message)

"When you go to war against your enemy and see horses and chariots and soldiers far outnumbering you, do not recoil in fear of them; God, your God, who brought you up out of Egypt is with you. When the battle is about to begin, let the priest come forward and speak to the troops. He’ll say, “Attention, Israel. In a few minutes you’re going to do battle with your enemies. Don’t waver in resolve. Don’t fear. Don’t hesitate. Don’t panic. God, your God, is right there with you, fighting with you against your enemies, fighting to win.”

Fighting against your enemies.

Fighting to win.

I don't claim to know what you are fighting against today, and I sure don't claim to say that it is easy. But whatever your enemy is, I know that Jesus is fighting against it, and I know He is fighting to win. But more than that, I know He does win. 

"The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved."

-Samuel Smiles 

To win without struggle is to win without honor. To win without struggle means to win without anything achieved. 

Yesterday I watched my cousin get baptized, and I can honestly say she lost multiple battles. She would tell you that herself. She fights addiction everyday and in the past she lost over and over. But yesterday she stood in front of others and as she wiped the water off her face as she come up from being baptized; Jesus won the war. 200 days sober on the day she got baptized. Jesus won the war. Fired from her job because of addiction, but now has a better job than she did before. Jesus won the war. Lost and broken and searching for an escape from pain and now one of the most joyful people I know, and finds her escape in worship. Jesus won the war. 

Jesus is greater than anything you walk into, walk through, or face today or any other day. Because He is greater, we will always overcome. 

Today Jesus, we admit that we know we might feel defeat but we hold tight to the fact you will always win. We hold tight to the fact you are greater.

Details.

I have a story. I knew after all this happened that I would blog about this. But Jesus made it clear to me after I received a text message from my sweet friend that it was her story to tell. So I am going to let her tell it.

The text message:

Adria. I'm in my car. And I'm sitting in a Starbucks parking lot. And I start thinking about everything. And Satan tries to come in and steal it and the most refreshing thought and truth comes over me--- not only did Jesus make me. But he prepared all these little things for him. This is not a mistake. I met you and was so amazed by your story. And from that day I asked Jesus for a story Adria. Cause I felt like I didn't have one. But I do. And the this new chapter of it, is blowing my mind. I met a friend with a passion for Jesus that blew my mind. And I wanted that. And I felt like I couldn't have it because I didn't know where my place was. That friend was you Adria.

First off let me begin by saying, Emily gives me way to much credit. The girl has a huge gift for making people feel valuable. She is the most encouraging person I know. After I read this I knew that Jesus had wired all of this together for her so specifically. Every single little detail.  -If I hadn't decided to take time off from school then I wouldn't have the freedom to take a random trip. -If we hadn't decided to take a trip, Emily wouldn't have brought me a check to the house I was babysitting at that night. -If Emily hadn't brought me a check, she wouldn't be able to tell you the story you are about to read. The list could literally go on and on.  Don't you love how Jesus does that. Every single little detail. I will say it again, every single little detail. He pieces them together and then we stand in amazement.  I write all the time. It could be blogging, it could be tweeting, or it could be journaling. But I write, because when I write I have a way to go back re-read what Jesus has done and how faithful He has been time after time. So no, I am not gonna tell you this story. Because it is Emily's story, and I wanted her to have a way to always remember when Satan comes in and tries to tell her otherwise that she most certainly has a story. Like she said in her text message to me, "I asked Jesus for a story." He answered.

Emily Griffin:

   Growing up everyone asks the famous question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?” For me, that answer was never certain. I have always had a huge desire to be a mom and wife but there’s not a course for that.  Trust me, I researched it.  When I would tell advisors they would look at me and just said, “Awe, honey, that’s so sweet.”
   Before I knew it, I was a senior in high school. To me, everyone knew what they wanted to do, but me. Of course I wasn’t the only one but Satan loves to share that lie with us. The truth was, Jesus had already gone way before and He was directing each step.

   I decided to go to Anderson University in South Carolina. I was so excited because my older sister was there and my best friend was going with me as well.  When we first began school, I really enjoyed it. As time went on, I was really struggling. My best friend would come back from class and would share stories about her exciting day. I wanted a story so badly. I majored in Early Childhood Education. I felt like it would be perfect for me because of my love for kids. I soon realized, it just wasn’t for me. I was so unhappy. I tried hard to make it look like I was happy. I could only keep this act up for so long. After my freshman year, I transferred back home. I didn’t have a clue where or what I was going to do. I just asked the lord to lead me, and I knew that Anderson was not where he had me. So, I packed up and headed back home. You would think I would be happy because I was headed to something better, but actually I was a complete mess. 

   I had left my sister and best friend and “ my plan” for my life was ruined. I felt like a failure. Summer came at the perfect time. I was able to just be at home with my family and also have some time with the lord to think about what was next. 

      I have always enjoyed babysitting so during this time I was able to get back into that. I got a lot of jobs and I was really excited. It brought me so much joy to step into these families and serve them. 

I attend Passion City Church, and have the privilege of working with the 2^nd and 6^th grade girls! (and what a privilege that is!) During this time I was able to meet Adria. Her heart immediately challenged me. We both loved kids so much and were able to share babysitting jobs with each other. At first, our conversations were centered on babysitting but as time went on we really opened up with one another. I’m blessed to say that to this day we are very close and I consider her a best friend. 

   As summer came to an end, I had decided to go back to school to finish core classes.  I still wasn’t sure what it was Jesus wanted me to do. I’m a very organized person and I absolutely love to always have a plan.  In this situation not having a plan made me crazy. I had different possibilities of what I thought I could do but I never was absolutely positive. I didn’t want to waste any time though. I didn’t want to just go to class . I talked with my parents and and many leaders that I look up to. Everyone always pointed me the fact that Jesus was leading me. I knew he was always leading me but its one thing to know and another to believe. I had to really pray and ask the lord to show me how to believe. I remember different friends were coming to me with similar situations. Without any hesitation, I always told them that God was leading them. I went on to say that he was near to them. 

   Have you ever needed your own advice? In this case, I needed to listen to myself. If Jesus was leading my friends in their situations—wasn’t he leading me too?  Of course, He was. I love what it says in Joshua 1:9. It says, “ Have I not commanded you? Be Strong and courageous, do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

   I held this verse very close and chose to believe it for me. It was an amazing feeling to know that Jesus, my best friend, and my king, was near to me. I am able to walk hand in hand with him through all the adventures of my life. 

   I’m literally sitting here typing this and I couldn’t be more excited to share with you how faithful Jesus is......

 
   My friend Adria and myself decided to go on a trip to Colorado to visit our friend. We planned this trip pretty fast, when I say fast I mean she texted me about it Sunday and we bought the tickets Sunday. I couldn’t believe we were actually going to go. The next day I planned to meet Adria to give her a check for the trip. Before I met her I was at home with my mom. I began to get really stressed about my future. I started researching and thinking about what to do. My mom told me to think about Dental Assistant training school. This was something that I had gone back and forth with for a while. I didn’t say anything back to my mom. I just continued to research and watch all the videos I could on Dental Assistants. I just asked the lord in that moment to please lead me. If this is what He wanted, I was going to need Him to show me. I put my computer down and went to get ready.  Before meeting Adria I was going to meet with my mentor from church. When I met with my mentor, all I could think about was my future. She began to talk with me and I was able to share with her about being a dental assistant. She was very excited for me and was able to really share some things with me that really ministered to my heart. I told her it wasn’t so much that I passionate about teeth. I like teeth but that wasn’t the point. The point was I wanted to do something where I was serving someone. I wanted to be someone’s right hand man.  It just made sense to me. I continued to pray and I just felt in that moment so much peace. 

   Adria was babysitting when I went to meet her. As I entered the house something hit me immediately. It was the most powerful thing I have felt in a while. I looked at Adria and I said what is that? She smiled back at me and was like…yep. I said, that’s Jesus isn’t it? She looked at me with the biggest smile on her face and was like, "yes."  This was just in the first 2 seconds of entering the house.  I was trying to meet the kids that Adria was babysitting but it was so hard for me. I had to just be silent. The power of the Holy Spirit was so heavy. Adria decided to show me around the house. I knew one of the kids she was watching because she happens to be one of the 2^nd grade girls that we both lead at church.    The more we walked around, the more heavy it got.  Time went by and we were just catching up with each other and the little girl came running down the steps.  She told us that her tooth was about to come out, and funny part is she goes, "Adria I know you hate teeth." But I went running over there to help her. The little girl mentioned that her mom was dentist and she always helped her with her teeth. I stood back and asked what she had said. Adria said, "yeah, she was a dentist assistant". I couldn’t believe it. I asked her to say that again as well, to make sure I was hearing correctly. I looked at Adria and I told her I had been praying about this for so long. Right in that moment, it all hit me. For the first time, it all made sense. All the little details were coming together. Jesus knew each of those little details. They were his little details. 

   I was completely undone. I couldn’t stop crying because it was all so powerful, it was so Jesus!  As I write this now I am officially signed up for Dental Assistant school! What???? Yes, its true! Im just a tad excited!  

  Now, I not only know God is leading me but I believe. I see that He is a promise maker and a promise keeper. And Im proud to say that all along I really did have a story and this was just a small and exciting chapter! 

I challenge you to let the Holy Spirit lead you.  Lean in, trust, and know He has you!

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders. Let me walk upon the waters. Wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” ( Oceans- Hillsong United)  

-Emily Griffin 

I love that it wasn't some huge moment in the middle of a concert, or a conference with 60,000 other people, or something a pastor said.. It was a little girl with a loose tooth that put all the pieces together for Emily.

Jesus, this is your story.

Nothing.

Does the often repeated cry for God to do something sometimes feel like a scream. And what if we can't find any other means of delivery but then just that, a scream. Even then, God is not far from the voice of our roaring; for He does not regard our prayers, but His own Spirit's work in them excited by the desire of our hearts. Speak honestly. Realize that your cries out for help are our are statements of faith and belief in who God says He is, and that He is the only answer. 

Lately, the way I feel could be summed up into one word; nothing. 

There have been multiple times I have started to write and I have no words. Absolutely nothing.

September 9,2013

"Jesus, the words aren't coming. I feel like the pages of my life are blank right now. I feel like i'm doing nothing. Teach me to wait. But more than that, teach me to be expectant even when I feel like nothing is coming."

{Isaiah 58:12}

"Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called repairer of broken walls, restorer of streets with dwellings."

ancient ruins: a state of nothing

foundations: the start

repairer of broken walls: the process/ working

streets with dwellings: Jesus turned absolutely nothing into everything.

All great things start from nothing, and then slowly turn into something. Being in the state of "nothing" isn't bad, it means you can be available for Jesus to turn your nothing into anything. I still have full confidence in the decision I made to not go to school, despite where I am at right now, because I know Jesus has something coming for me. What it is I still couldn't tell you. But I believe it. 

I believe Jesus will turn nothing into something.

ashes to beauty.

nothing to something. 

Isaiah 61:13

David to a King.

a nobody to a somebody.

2 Samuel 5:1-3

Dry bones to life.

nothing to something.

Ezekiel 37.

Psalm 139:15

"....how I was sculpted from nothing into something." 

Jesus became the ultimate "nothing" on the cross, to give us all a chance to become something. 

All because He became nothing.

I became a daughter.

I became loved.

I became cherished.

I received purpose.

I received mercy.

I received grace.

I have life.

All because He was willing to become nothing. 

So Jesus, turn my nothing into something like you have so faithfully done time after time. Teach to me accept where you have called me to be right now, and to be right where I am at, even if that requires me waiting patiently for what is next. Use my nothing, and turn it something that will glorify you in everything. 

“Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.” -Jarod Kintz